Soulbroken Read online

  I didn't listen to the rest of Instructor Ross's lecture, but not because I was slipping into a nap or even because I was still angry about the things that he was saying about the Unskilled. The truth was, I was still angry, but that's not at all why I didn't focus on what it was that he had to say. I didn't listen because I was deeply entrenched in my realization, that I had not helped the Unskilled at all, and that because of me, Avery had died.

  My head was on my desk for the remainder of class, and by the time class had been dismissed, I was ready to return to my dorm room, lie on my bed, and just stare at the ceiling for a while. What I really wanted to do was to spend some serious time thinking about what I could do to help the Unskilled. But what I really needed to think about was whether or not I agreed with my parents reasons for continuing to follow Protocol, despite the fact that, though they were Skilled, they were no longer a part of Skilled society.

  It was only when I saw Edmond waiting for me outside of class that I remembered that I had extra duties in Quill's office that would take me away from my cozy room, and my even cozier bed. But my troubled thoughts, they would follow me.

  As we made our way across campus, I thought about what Instructor Ross had said about King Darrek basically still respecting the Protocol of not exposing "our" world to the Unskilled. It made me wonder why he would abandon years of rules and courtesies, only to honor just that one. Coupled with the curious possibility that Darrek might have been Soulbound to two Healers, that made for an interesting person, despite how evil he might be. And despite the fact that King Darrek was referred to as the greatest enemy of Tril, we were taught virtually nothing about him. We learned dates and all about certain historic battles against him, but no one really spoke of the king himself, and of what might make him tick. I had to admit, I was more than a bit curious.

  Once we reached the headmaster's office, I raised my fist and knocked on his door, wishing for a miracle that would take me away from extra duties for the evening. But no such miracle occurred. From inside, Quill said, "Enter and be known."

  Edmond raised his eyebrows sympathetically as I opened the door and stepped inside. Once there, Quill wasted no time in his criticism. He ran an expectant finger along the edge of a bookshelf I had yet to obviously go anywhere near and clucked his tongue. "Any task, Miss Oshiro, worth doing is worth doing well. I suggest you spend your hours here applying yourself, rather than daydreaming your time away."

  As if Quill's office were a place that inspired dreams of any kind. In response, I shrugged. "I do what I can. Maybe it would be easier to clean now if it hadn't sat untouched for probably ten years."

  He flashed me an insulted look as he moved out the door, and I shrugged again. "I'm just saying, it wouldn't kill you to pick up a feather duster now and again, headmaster or not."

  Once the door had closed behind him, sealing me inside my dusty prison, I went straight to the bookcases and scanned them for any texts on King Darrek and his life. But strangely, despite the fact that the bookcases were stuffed full with several hundred books, only one book on Darrek occupied the shelves. And sadly, it was the book I'd already inspected. With my shoulders slumped in disappointment, I got to work cleaning--halfheartedly, mostly because of what Quill had said about me daydreaming.

  The truth was, I wanted to know more about this man we all referred to as King Darrek. I wanted to know where he came from, how he grew up, what brought him to this life of war. I wanted to know about his Healers and why he'd bother following any Protocol at all now that he was no longer under the thumb of the Zettai Council. But most of all, I wanted to know why he was determined to kill all Healers, and what exactly he hoped to gain from all of this fighting, pain, and death.

  The books in Quill's office weren't going to tell me any of these things. But maybe some of the books in the library would. It wouldn't be open after I finished my extra duties tonight. But tomorrow my classes, and thus my extra duties, would end early, thanks to the autumn holiday. And I doubted Edmond would refuse to take me to the library to study up on a few things.

  Even if he had no idea that I was going there to learn everything that I could about King Darrek.

  Chapter 5

  The library was surprisingly empty as I wandered its shelves the following afternoon, gathering any text that I could find about King Darrek. Edmond was shadowing me still, but not watching as closely as he did whenever we were outside. Maybe he thought the library was safe enough. And it was, if one didn't deem information as being potentially dangerous. I was glad that he was trusting me not to get in too much trouble, because it freed me to read what I'd come here to read--information about the Graplar King.

  With an armload of tomes, I sat at a small table, pouring through the pages for anything that hadn't been taught to me so far in class. To my deep disappointment, most of what I'd found was a repeat of the same old information. It made me wonder how Skilled society could know so little about a man they deemed to be so important.

  Edmond approached my table, and barely blinked in the direction of my pile of books. "I hate to interrupt...whatever it is that you're doing, but the dining hall closes in about fifteen minutes, and Quill will have my head if you're not there for dinner."

  It was beyond stupid that every student needed to feast on certain foods on the day of autumn holiday to ensure good luck in the coming winter months, but who was I to argue with stupid traditions? With a sigh, I said, "Just let me put the books back."

  It would be a lie if I said that I didn't take my time returning each book to its spot on each shelf. But I wasn't exactly anxious to take part in anything to do with Quill. Wasn't it bad enough that I was his maid? Now I had to be his dining partner as well.

  I climbed the massive stairs up to the loft and squeezed the final book in my hands. I'd come up here with a purpose. And whether or not anything would come of my actions, I had to follow through. Biting my bottom lip, I leaned over the banister and peered down at Edmond, who was waiting a bit more anxiously than he had been just a few minutes before. "I'll be right down. Just one more thing I have to check on first."

  He barely had time to nod before I moved to the tapestry and reached behind it, flipping the switch that activated the hidden door. I moved up the stairs, thinking about the time I had spent here with Trayton, wondering if he came here still, and if he did, whether or not he thought about me at all. Maybe he did. Maybe he longed for my company. Or maybe he regretted ever having had it. I didn't know. I could only guess.

  The chaise was just as old, just as dusty as it had been the last time I'd been here. I smiled at it, and as I looked up at the ceiling of clear glass tiles, I smiled more. Maybe Trayton hated me now. But I would always care for him.

  With more care than was needed, I placed the book on the cushion of the chaise, hoping that he'd find it the next time that he came here. When he did, I hoped he'd know that it was a gift from me.

  As I moved back down the steps, the title rang through my mind, and I couldn't imagine any subject more fitting to describe our situation. Bound: the complications of a new Healer-Barron relationship and how to overcome them.

  Chapter 6

  A small sound broke through that night's silence. A click. Followed by the swish of the window being opened from the outside. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up, squinting in the darkness at the shape that was entering my room. My sleep-addled mind screamed that my new company was either Trayton or Darius, which I knew couldn't be true. They were both gone now, and I was alone, apart from Edmond--my eternal shadow who was reading in the parlor next door. Still, it didn't stop me from wishing that my sleepy brain could possibly be right. Maybe one of them had come back, just long enough for me to fix things. And the truth of it was, I didn't really care which one was crawling through my window. I only cared that I could begin, at last, to mend whatever fault now lied between us. Hoping that Edmond hadn't heard my guest's intrusion, and that I wasn't about to welcome some creepy stranger, I whispered into the air, "
Who is it?"

  "That's how you greet people climbing in your window at night? Not with a kick to the groin, but a 'who is it'? You've gone soft on me, Princess." Even in the darkness, I could see her sarcastic smirk, and I practically leapt from my bed, knowing that she was here.

  "Maddox!"

  Maddox grinned and took a careful glance out the window before closing it behind her. As my mind awakened further, I could see that she was right. What was I doing, waiting for someone I didn't even know to crawl inside my window at night? What if it hadn't turned out to be Maddox? My thoughts went instantly to my katana, which was stowed away in the armory, which might as well be a million miles or so from my dorm room.

  Once she was inside, I noticed the differences in her since I'd seen her last. She'd changed her hair--it was still short, but different somehow. Maybe it was just a bit lighter from all her time in the sun. My theory made sense when I glimpsed her tan skin. It made me wonder just how much time she was spending out on patrol. Her eyes were still just as bright, just as blue, and twinkling with more mischief than they had in the past. She raised an eyebrow at me, still grinning. "What's wrong with you? You're standing there staring at me like I have two heads or something."

  Leave it to Maddox to be uncomfortable and suspicious about someone smiling at their presence. It made me chuckle. "It's just good to see you, is all. What are you doing here, anyway?"

  "I wanted to stop by sooner, but this was the first chance I've had since returning from an Outer Rim patrol. I left just after we talked last."

  Hearing where she'd been sent a chill up my spine, but I was relieved to hear that Maddox hadn't been anywhere near the action. Even if it was strange to think of the Outer Rim as being even remotely safer than Shadow Academy. I shook my head, both at the perception that the Outer Rim could be anything but horrible and at the fact that I had had no idea where Maddox had been since the last moment we saw one another. "I wondered where you were. I was worried."

  "I heard about what happened with Instructor Baak. What a crazy dek." I could tell by the look in her eyes that she hadn’t come here, hadn’t broken Protocol to cross campus at night and snuck through my window just to talk about the craziness of the past few days. There was something more, and I wondered if rumors had begun to float around the school about Darius and I being Soulbound. She sat hard on the bed beside me and sighed. "There are some rumors going around about you. I just wanted to make sure you were...y'know...okay."

  Okay. Was I okay? Trayton hated me. Darius was gone. And I was Headmaster Quill’s office slave. Okay? No. I was definitely not that. I sank back onto the bed beside her, shaking my head. "I don't know. Everything's so fakked up. I don't even know where to begin."

  With a shrug, she smirked. "The beginning seems like the most obvious choice to me."

  She was right. And being that she must already know, thanks to the rumor mill, I knew it was time to tell her the truth of what I had learned the other day on the battlefield. It wasn’t exactly the beginning, but it was where all of my problems had come to a head. I nodded, and was still nodding as I uttered, "Darius and I are Soulbound."

  Suddenly, it felt as if every molecule of air had been sucked out of the room. Maddox's eyes widened and her mouth dropped opened, but all in a strange kind of slow motion. At any other time, in any other place, the scene might have been comical.

  "What?!" I waved my hand frantically at Edmond's door after she shouted, and she took that as a cue to keep her voice down. Shaking her head, she said, "You can't be! Darius is an Unskilled!”

  I knew that she wasn’t saying it in an insulting way, or in a manner that placed the Unskilled somehow beneath us, but hearing her refer to Darius in such a way gave me brief pause. “We all thought that, but no. It turns out he’s a Barron.”

  “But…but…” She looked like she was having a pretty difficult time breathing. I struggled to recall a single moment when I had ever seen Maddox lose her cool like this, and couldn’t. It made me wonder what exactly was going through her head. Was she bothered that she had known Darius so much longer than I had and had never guessed that he was Skilled? Or was she, for some reason, troubled to learn that he and I were Soulbound? That didn’t seem like Maddox. Odds were that she was just as shocked as I was about the whole scenario and had no idea how to fit the puzzle pieces together in her mind. “Even if he is a Barron…your Soulbound Barron died. Remember?"

  I was betting that Maddox was really fun at parties. And funerals, can't forget those.

  “Well, what did you think I was going to say? What have you been hearing?”

  “I just heard that you and Trayton had a big blowout and he went off on a patrol without you!” She threw her arms up in the air, as if I'd just informed her that she was the one in the predicament. "And what about Trayton? Does he know? Is that why he left?"

  "He knows.” In my mind’s eye, I saw him standing there, looking at Darius and I, frozen, not knowing what to say or do. I wondered if he would ever get over it, or if we would ever be together the way we had before. “In fact, only a small, select group of people seem to know, so keep your mouth shut about this, okay?"

  She nodded, and sat back, shaking her head. After a while of coming to terms with my situation, which wasn't her situation at all, she raised an eyebrow at me and said, "Y’know…there are worse people you could be Soulbound to."

  Groaning, I picked up a pillow and hit her across the head with it. She grabbed it from me and hit me back. "What? Darius is...something."

  He was something, alright. Stubborn, bossy, egotistical...and Soulbound to me, it would seem. Another image flashed through my mind—one of Darius, shirtless, dabbing at my wound with a gentle touch that I hadn’t thought him capable of. Just thinking about him sent a confused chill up my spine. To ward it away, I sighed and focused on the issue at hand. "And now Trayton's gone off to Okumatte without me."

  "Not the smartest choice."

  "And you!" I nearly smacked my own forehead when it occurred to me how self-focused I was being. "I haven't been allowed to see you. How are you, Maddox? Are you okay? The Outer Rim. Ugh."

  Maddox shrugged. "Quill's kept me pretty busy. The Outer Rim was just as awful as everyone had said it would be. We skirted Wood's Cross. I don't ever want to go back to that place. But I do have good news. You won't even believe it. I can’t believe it. I’m still not really convinced it’s actually happening, or how or why or anything."

  "What is it? I could use some good news about now."

  "I'm getting a Healer!" Her eyes brightened, her grin broadened. Maddox was happy. Happier than I had ever seen her, in fact. "Apparently it was arranged weeks ago, and they’re coming in all the way from Starlight Academy. After the battle, the other schools are sending in all they can spare, but this one is meant for me. It’s pretty amazing. I mean, what with the massive Healer shortage and everything. I’m still not sure how my name got moved up the list. I'm sure it's just Quill's way of keeping me busy and away from you, but I have to say, Princess, I'm pretty excited. My name was mysteriously moved up the list, though no one seems to know why. And frankly, I don’t care."

  But we both knew why. Maddox was a thorn in Quill's side, and the only way to smooth that thorn was to occupy her time. By any means necessary.

  "Wow, Maddox. Just...wow. That's unbelievable. Congratulations!" My grin spread to mirror hers. A Healer. This was huge news. So why did it make me a little sad to hear it?

  "I'm kinda still in denial. And I don't know any details, apart from the fact that they'll be here in a week or two. I'm seriously hoping it's a girl, but I have no idea. It could be a guy, I guess." She sighed, ringing her hands a bit. Her nerves were showing. The notion of being Bound to a guy when she was so hoping for a girl seemed to set her every nerve on edge. For her sake--and for her Healer's sake--I hoped it was a girl too. Maddox sighed nervously. "That would be...interesting. Me? Bound to a guy? Huh."

  I placed a comforting hand on her arm and s
queezed, offering her a reassuring smile. I knew how scary it was to be Bound to someone you'd never even met before. It was awful, not knowing what the future held. Unsettling, to say the least. "It's going to be great. You'll see."

  At this, her shoulders relaxed some, and I was happy to help ease her tension. "Anyway, I know things must be crazy miserable for you right now, but I was kinda hoping, if I can convince Quill, that you could maybe escort me to my binding ceremony in the next few weeks."

  "I'd love that." It would be strange, to know that Maddox had a Healer. Strange. But amazing. At least then I could spend less time worrying about her being sent out on patrol.

  As if she'd had enough of the attention focused on her, Maddox tilted her head and looked at me curiously. "So what are you going to do about Darius and Trayton?"

  "I'm not sure yet. But I'll figure it out." We exchanged glances then, both knowing that I was totally lying, and poorly. I didn't really think I'd figure anything out. Right now, my plan was pretty much: mope, feel angry, and hope that something brilliant popped into my head.

  Maddox frowned at the lack of anything brilliant popping into my head. "Can I help?"

  "You just worry about that new Healer of yours for now. I'm so happy for you, Maddox."

  "Thanks." She stood then and moved back to the window. I hated that our visit had to be cut so short, but any longer would risk Edmond's intrusion, and I didn't want anything to risk Maddox's new Healer assignment. As she unlatched the window and pulled it open, she turned back to me with a sharp eyebrow raised. "Listen, there have been a few rumors floating around. Something about a Healer named Kaya fighting off Graplars outside the south gate. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"