Soulbroken Read online

  My jaw ached from clenching it. It didn't matter whether or not what he was saying was true--and I sincerely wasn't certain whether or not it was. What mattered, what was making my jaw ache, was the fact that Trayton would accuse me of a lack of loyalty amidst so much carnage and pain. There were bigger things to worry about right now than whether or not Darius's touch made my heart race. "He lied to me too, Trayton. Darius Never told me what he was or how we were connected. I had no idea, and I'm feeling just as betrayed as you are. Keep that in mind before you say something you'll regret."

  Shaking his head, the look in his eyes was one of absolute stubborn refusal to listen to any idea that hadn't been inspired by his own conspiring thoughts. "I have a hard time believing that."

  He wouldn't hear me now, couldn't hear me, maybe. So it was probably best, I surmised, to leave it alone for the moment, and come back to it when we'd both had time to think. As I began to turn away, I said, "Jealousy is an ugly thing, Trayton. It doesn't suit you."

  "Neither does being your Barron." His words had been but a mutter, but I'd heard them loud and clear, and they stopped my movement short.

  "What do you mean by that, exactly?"

  "I want..." He took a breath, and I might have just imagined that it shook as he released it into the air. "I want nothing more to do with you."

  A tiny crack marred my heart as each of those words left his lips, and I had to step carefully as I left the courtyard, for fear that my heart might shatter completely. It was one thing for him to feel betrayed. It was another to rip our lives asunder in a moment of pain.

  I tried to speak. But I couldn't. So I walked away. Hurt. Lost. Broken.

  Behind me, Trayton cried out, but his voice sounded muted, as if he were standing immensely far away, even though it couldn't be more than a few yards. "Why can't you just learn your place, Kaya?"

  And for the first time, I wondered--truly wondered--if everything that I had done against the will of the Zettai Council had been for nothing.

  Chapter 2

  It was strange, walking to class the following day. Though my muscles still ached from the battle and last night's cleanup efforts, nothing about the academy grounds showed that there had been a battle at all. It had disturbed me to witness the dead piled together and covered with large tarps, but it disturbed me more to think that they could be so easily forgotten. It was so like Skilled Society to sweep away the painful truth and pretend that all was well. Classes were up and running, offices were open, the library was in full working order. It was as if the attack had never happened. Only, the ache all through my body and mind reminded me, it had.

  Instructor Harnett's classroom was just as strange as classes being open, following such a devastating attack. The room was filled with sunshine, as was her personality--in direct contrast to both my memories of yesterday and my mood. What was there to be so happy about, anyway? My Barron hated me, I was in deep trouble with Headmaster Quill, and the one person who might actually be willing to give me any answers at all about my still being Soulbound was now miles away, and likely never coming back. And to top it all off, I just knew we were going to have homework, and I so wasn't in the mood to identify species of plant life. Who gave a fak about the difference between meadowgrass and sleepweed? Not me. Not today. Of that much I was certain.

  "For your homework today--" Even as she said the words, I thumped my forehead onto the table. "--I want a five hundred word essay on the three differences between deathbrine and muckshrooms."

  I made a face when she said that, sticking out my tongue and squinting my eyes, but only because I knew that no one could see it, as my head was still face-down on the table. The truth was, I really liked Instructor Harnett. I just didn't want anything more to focus on tonight. On the other hand, if I could manage to lose myself in my studies, then maybe I could forget about the situation with Trayton and Darius for a while.

  Not that there was a situation with Darius. Not at all. How could there be? He was miles away by now, starting a new life. One without his Soulbound Healer. One without me.

  He was alive. My Soulbound Barron. After all of this time, he was alive. And no one had bothered to tell me. The twisted blend of anger, sorrow, and betrayal that was rushing through me felt suffocating--so much that there were moments when I felt like I couldn't breathe.

  I wondered if it was possible to drown in one's anguish.

  As the rest of the class filed out, I sat up, preparing to drag myself through the motions of what everyone around me seemed to insist was a typical day. It was only after I'd reached the door that it occurred to me to ask Instructor Harnett a question that had been weighing on me since the day before. When I turned to her, she met me with a smile, as if she'd been expecting me to ask her something. "Instructor Harnett, do you know of any instances where a Barron is born with two Soulbound Healers?"

  She tilted her head to the side, examining the ceiling with her eyes for a bit in thought before answering. "Hmmm. You mean apart from King Darrek?"

  I wasn't sure why, but hearing her answer made my insides feel suddenly very heavy. "Darrek has two Healers?"

  She shook her head. "No, but he was born with two. To my knowledge, he doesn't have either anymore. Ironic that a man with two Healers would set out to eradicate all Healers, isn't it?"

  "Yes, it is." Mid-nod, I said, "Do you know if he was really the only person Soulbound to two people? Or is that something pretty rare that can happen?"

  It could happen. It had happened. I knew. I'd experienced the proof of it just yesterday outside the south gate. But now I needed to understand it.

  Instructor Harnett shook her head. "It can't happen, Kaya. And it doesn't."

  I wasn't willing to accept that answer. "But why not? There must be a reason."

  She took a moment of contemplation, in which I could tell that she was trying to truly explain in a way that I would understand. It was something that I greatly admired about Instructor Harnett. She really wanted to teach her students. She really wanted us to learn, and to understand things that we hadn't before we set foot inside of her classroom. "You've spent time enough in nature to witness creatures who are symbiotic. Two beings who exist in complete natural cooperation. Each benefits from the other. Each needs the other for optimal survival. Take the bramblefish and the puckerfrog, for example. The puckerfrog cannot eat without the bramblefish keeping the woodsnips at bay, and the bramblefish feeds off the puckerfrog's leftovers--food that it wouldn't have if the puckerfrog hadn't frightened off the woodsnips. They exist in harmony, ensuring one another's survival. Rather like Healers and Barrons."

  My nods quickly gave way to head-shaking. "So...I'm a puckerfrog?"

  Students were beginning to file in for her next class, but she didn't seem hurried at all. I was grateful for that. A brief chuckle escaped her. "In a way, yes. We exist to support one another. Barrons are strong in ways that we Healers are not, so they can protect us and ensure our survival, just as we can heal their wounds and ensure theirs. In a more mystical explanation, when we--the Skilled, that is--are born, our lifeforce, or soul, if you will, is split in two. The Healer half and the Barron half. Some say that's how Soulbound Barrons and Healers find one another from the far edges of Tril. Two halves of a whole, seeking one another out. Nature finds a way, after all. So you see, there could never be more than two people who are Soulbound. It just doesn't work that way, in nature, or in mysticism."

  Was that what had happened to Darius and I? Had nature found a way, leading us back to one another? And if Quill had known all along about our connection, why would he risk having us at the same school, while binding me to Trayton? I was missing a huge part of the puzzle, and the hole that it left was filling with frustration.

  In direct contrast to my tension, Instructor Harnett seemed to relax with every word she spoke. "There are scholars who propose that even King Darrek wasn't Soulbound to two. They believe he made it up in order to inspire awe and fear."

  It intr
igued me that she'd used the phrase 'even King Darrek'--like he was an exception to the rule. Like he was any different than any other Barron on the planet. But then, he had managed to keep aging and death at bay and live an inordinate amount of time. So maybe he was the exception to the rule. But one thing was for certain: the scholars were, to put it bluntly, wrong. Maybe not about Darrek. But definitely about the details of being Soulbound. I sighed and folded my arms in front of my chest. "What about you? What do you believe?"

  She looked to the ceiling again, and it was all I could do not to follow her eyes to see just what the fak she was looking at up there. Then, offering me another kind, warm smile, she said, "I believe that anything is possible. But I also believe that people are Soulbound to just one person."

  Twenty minutes later, I was standing in Headmaster Quill's office, holding a feather duster, rolling my eyes at every word he said whenever he turned around so that he couldn't see me. "And you must remember to replace all of my books precisely in the order that I have them on the shelves once you've dusted."

  He turned back to me abruptly, and I just knew he'd caught me mid-eye roll. Somewhat guiltily, I stared at the feather duster in my hand, twirling it slightly.

  Quill muttered something under his breath, but I couldn't hear what it was. Then he said--louder, so I could understand him, "And all of the books must be lined up precisely an inch from the edge of the shelf. Nice and even. I prefer things to be in a certain order. Do you understand my expectations?"

  "Totally. Neat, clean, and everything in its place." I was betting he wouldn't be able to tell that I was mocking him, but by the way he raised one bushy gray eyebrow behind his glasses, I realized that Quill was sharper than I gave him credit for.

  He moved out the door, but before he closed it behind him, he said, "Edmond will be waiting for you when you finish. Two hours tonight, Miss Oshiro. Not a minute less. And if I find little or no progress when I return, I shall be forced to keep you company during your extra duties, despite my allergies."

  As the door shut, I couldn't shake the sensation of having been sealed inside a tomb. Similarly, the Headmaster's office was dingy, dusty, and not at all somewhere that I wanted to spend any time at all. But it could always be worse. I wasn't about to plop down in his chair and forego cleaning for the evening. The only thing worse than cleaning Quill's dingy office was spending time with Quill...as I cleaned his dingy office. Looking about the room, I had no idea how someone who claimed to have allergies could possibly work in here. Bookshelves lined the walls, each with more layers of dust than stacks of books. It was hard to tell where the tomes ended and the dirt began, but easy enough to see that Quill rarely read any of the books here.

  The elaborate wood trim around the door and edging where the walls met the floor were also dusty, and I began to wonder if Quill had ever cleaned his office at all. His desk was a mess, hidden under piles of papers and half-melted candles, and two trunks were shoved in the corner of the room, obviously forgotten. If anyone needed someone to come in and put things into a respectable order, it was obviously Headmaster Quill. I just wished that it didn't have to be me.

  With a heavy sigh, I picked up a rag and dove into my cleaning duties with much reluctance, removing books from the highest shelf nearest the door, wiping each down before stacking them in a pile on the floor. Then I wiped down the entire shelf before putting the books back in the order they'd been removed. After all, there was no way I was going to give Quill any sensible reason at all to complain about my efforts, or insist on remaining with me as I continued my extra duties. So I pushed through, being as thorough as possible, working my way down the bookcase, shelf by filthy shelf. By the time I'd reached the fifth shelf, my eyes were tearing from all the dust. I sneezed and a cloud of dust billowed out from the books there, inciting several more sneezes. Once they'd settled, and my nose was tingling, I ran a curious finger along the spines of the books on that shelf. Most of the titles were nothing I could give a fak about. Titles like The Art of Protocol and Leadership: A Gift from Your Superiors. A small, red tome was titled A Brief History of the Zettai Council, and a thick, blue book proclaimed itself authoritatively to be Graplars: How to Tame the Forest Creatures as its title in thick, gold script. But next to it was a title that did catch my eye. The Mystery and History Behind King Darrek.

  Its cover was simple, free of artwork, and brown leather. I'd expected it to be well-worn, and studied repeatedly, but when I pulled it from the shelf, it looked as if it had barely ever been opened. Odd, wasn't it, that no one had seemed very interested at all in learning more about the man behind this war? In light of my recent conversation with instructor Harnett, I, for one, was very interested in King Darrek. Not to mention in whether or not he had actually been Soulbound to two Healers.

  Clutching the book in my hand, I made my way down the ladder to Quill's chair, where I sat comfortably as I flipped through the book's pages. Much of what I found inside were details that I had already learned in class. But when I got to the chapter on Darrek's Healers, I found myself deeply entrenched in its contents. The author had apparently interviewed one of the scholars who had theorized that Darrek's second Soulbound Healer had been a myth. But that same author had also retrieved birthing documents that proclaimed that Darrek had actually been Soulbound to two Healers. The scholar, of course, had refuted the author's evidence, noting that Darrek was a notorious deceiver, and had likely forged the documents. I, however, wasn't convinced. If Darrek had been born Soulbound to two people, then couldn't Darius have been? Katelyn, the girl that Darius had been Soulbound to had died, hadn't she? And I was Soulbound to Darius, as clearly evidenced by my ability to heal him with a single touch. So didn't that mean that Darius had been born Soulbound to two Healers, just like King Darrek? Or did it mean something else entirely? And what did it mean for Trayton? Would my healing abilities be somehow diluted for my Bound Barron, since my Soulbound Barron was still alive? Was that why I hadn't been able to completely heal him after Instructor Baak had stabbed him?

  I returned the book to its rightful spot, even though I was tempted to take it back to my dorm for further examination. Exhausted and dirty, I dropped the feather duster into its canister by the door, the rag I'd been using on the floor beside it, and stepped outside into the fresh air--fresh by comparison, at any rate. As promised, Edmond was waiting for me.

  We walked back to my dorm in relative silence--I lost in my thoughts and Edmond lost in his. But as we moved up the stairs to the hallway that led to my room, my steps slowed at the sounds coming from Trayton's room. A woman's laughter, followed by many voices. Trayton was having a party.

  I stood there in the hall, too stunned to speak or move. Just yesterday, a fierce battle had just taken the lives of many of his friends and classmates. Just yesterday, an admired instructor had betrayed her students and fellow teachers, not to mention fully defected her loyalties to King Darrek's camp. Just yesterday, Trayton had learned that his Healer was Soulbound to another man--his best friend, of all people--and now he was hosting some party like he didn't even care. My heart sank. Maybe he wasn't the man that I'd thought he was. Maybe he was selfish. Maybe he was cruel. Maybe I didn't mean as much to him as he'd told me in tender whispers just days before. Maybe I was just another girl in his line-up of girls. Like Melanie. Or worse.

  Edmond paused and looked back at me as he reached to open my door. Then, as calmly as any other time I'd seen him, he moved to Trayton's door and knocked. I froze where I was, not wanting Trayton to see me there outside his door, not wanting to see him and know that he was any different from the man that I'd thought I'd been Bound to. But I didn't stop Edmond, so maybe I was absurdly, morbidly curious about what was happening behind that door. Even if I was afraid for it to open, and for all that I had known to unravel before my eyes.

  Trayton opened the door, and sounds of his soiree spilled out into the hall. When his eyes fell on my guard, they quickly found me in the hall before returning to Edmon
d. I couldn't read the emotion in his glance, if indeed there had been any. "Can I help you?"

  I wondered silently how many people were in Trayton's room, and whether or not Melanie was amongst them. Edmond spoke up to be heard above the noise. "It's a little loud in there, isn't it?"

  Trayton crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the door jamb. "Look, if you've got something to say, just say it."

  Edmond shook his head. "What? About Kaya and how this little party might be making her feel? Nothing at all comes to mind. Her concerns are none of my business. I'm a guard. I keep her cared for and out of danger, nothing more. Protocol, you know."

  Trayton examined him for a moment before shaking his head, a newly born tension in his jaw. As he turned back to his party, he said, "Thanks for stopping by, Edmond."

  "Not a problem." Edmond smiled, and I began to wonder what the point of this little intrusion was. Then Edmond stuck his foot in the door, preventing it from closing. "Oh, there is one thing, though."

  Trayton frowned at Edmond's foot, then found his eyes again. "What's that?"

  "Well, I wouldn't be following Protocol if I didn't ask to see your gathering permit."

  "Gathering permit." Trayton looked down the hall at me, anger boiling from the surface of him. I shrank back against the wall, hoping he would realize that none of this was my idea. It wasn't, after all. Even though I had wondered what he was up to in there, and what he could possibly be thinking on the heels of so much darkness, so much death. It didn't seem like him at all. But then, who was Trayton? Did I even really know?

  Edmond smiled pleasantly. "Yes. You're clearly hosting a gathering, and in order to do so--in order to do so lawfully, that is--you must have obtained written permission from the Headmaster. So if you'll just show it to me, I can be on my way and you can carry on with your celebration, as it were."

  Trayton paused for a long, silent moment before cursing under his breath. "I forgot about the gathering permit. Give me ten minutes to break it up and clear the room."