Soulbroken Read online

  "I'm actually looking for someone. My parents, who might be in serious danger, and my Barron, who definitely is. Plus someone else, who owes me some answers. But I'd rather not discuss the details." I didn't know why I was telling him this. Maybe it was because I wanted to know that I could trust someone. And maybe the only way that I could trust someone was if they trusted me as well. It felt strange to talk about Trayton and Darius, when that life felt so very far away from where I was now. I wondered, if I went back to the Academy, whether or not Headmaster Quill would allow me to return to what passed for my normal life now, or if he'd have me arrested on sight. I also wondered if my considering doing such a thing stemmed mainly from fear and loneliness. Picking up a stick, I poked at the coals some and watched them turn even brighter shades of orange and red. "Still...I wish Maddox were here."

  Gage watched the coals too, and for a while, both of us seemed to become lost in thought. After a while, he spoke again, his voice soft and cool, blending perfectly with the night air all around us. "Sometimes alone is better. Sometimes, Kaya, alone is the only way to take care of those you love."

  We both grew quiet then, and I was grateful for that moment. Just to sit and contemplate the choice that I'd made to leave Maddox behind, to strike out on my own. It had been enormously difficult and the results could be potentially catastrophic, but in the end, I decided, I made the right decision. I could only do this on my own, without Maddox here to inspire doubt. And she would--maybe not with her words or actions, but if she were here right now, I'd be thinking about going back to the Academy, getting her somewhere safe. Gage was right. Sometimes alone is the only way. The best way.

  As if growing uncomfortable with the silence--or perhaps the subject--he began tossing unnecessary wood on the already well-fed fire. When he was finished, he looked at me. "Listen. I might not be Tril's foremost authority on fishing, but I do know a thing or two about camping in the wild. If you plan to camp more, you're really going to need some suitable supplies.”

  By 'suitable', I assumed he meant 'some', because I had virtually nothing since abandoning what I'd had in my parents' cabin. I was lucky to still have my katana. But it was nice of him not to point out how stupid I was to consider travelling across Tril without stopping for a few sensible items. But I'd be damned if I was going back to that cabin. Those Barrons were waiting for me. I just knew it. One of them in particular. At the memory of the Barron who'd run his hand from my hip up to my ribcage, I shuddered and brought my arms up around my midsection. "It's too late to pick up anything in Kessler, even if I wasn't opposed to going back there, which I am."

  The look on his face said that he very much wanted to question my reluctance, but didn't want to push, for fear of me clamming up completely. But his curiosity got the better of him, refusing to let it completely go. "Concerned for your safety?"

  "You could say that." The memory of those guards bursting into my cabin was still with me. Still hot and bright in my thoughts, like the coals that were now glowing in the fire pit. The flames had begun to die out, but the coals would burn for a long time, refusing to be forgotten.

  "Because I'd be happy to come with you. I need supplies of my own." He darted a glance at me then, one full of understanding. "Not that you need protection or anything. But there is safety in numbers."

  I watched the coals some more, debating the benefits and problems that came with travelling with anyone for an extended period of time. I was also considering my next move. Not knowing where my parents might be, I had to find a path to them, and that path could only be found via someone in Skilled society who knew them. Clearly they'd been in touch with at least one man from Skilled society since they went rogue--the man who'd come to grieve a friend's death with them when I was younger. So surely there must be someone out there still who knew where they might be.

  That meant that I was going to have to visit a Skilled village—the nearest being Butcher—and discreetly dig out information on who might have any idea where they were now. I’d need supplies, that much was certain, but Drago, an Unskilled village, wasn’t all that far from where I was now. Maybe two hour’s journey. Maybe three. And I could use some company. But I didn't know Gage, didn't know anything about him, other than what he'd told me. I didn't even really know if he was a Barron. I hadn't seen his Trace, and asking now, knowing he'd have to remove clothing in order to show it to me, might be a bit uncomfortable. What if he thought I was interested in seeing more than his Trace? And where was he planning on sleeping? The idea of resting next to a stranger in the dark made the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. No. That was not happening. I didn't care how charming his stupid smirk was.

  Before I could summon up a response in my thoughts, he drew himself to his feet and brushed dirt and grass from his cloak. "Think about it. I'll stop by in the morning before I head out."

  I wasn't sure why it surprised me that he was leaving, heading out to a camp of his own, perhaps. Only that it had. It took me a moment to say, "I'm not going back to Kessler, Gage. I’m going to Drago. For now, anyway."

  He watched me for a moment as he drew his hood back over his head, and I could tell he was resisting the urge to question why I was so against the notion of going back to Kessler. The wind picked up and caught the edge of his cloak, causing it to billow behind him. His face was encased in shadows. "Drago then. I'll be here by sunrise, so if you decide you’d like my company for a bit, be ready by then. I won't wait."

  Chapter 12

  I barely slept that night. Not for any one reason, but for the billion or so that were bouncing around inside my skull, refusing to let me have any rest at all. Mostly I thought about my parents, and about where they could possibly be. I was almost certain that they were alive--even by typical Barron standards, they were immensely gifted in strength and skill. But it bothered me that I had no idea where they'd run off to or why. What's more, I wasn't exactly certain where I should start looking for them, or even if I should. What if they'd left, knowing I'd be at Shadow Academy, and didn't want me to interfere with whatever it was that they were doing? It was possible. But that possibility left me with few choices in my journey.

  At some point, I had to seek out Darius, and demand to know how it could be that we're Soulbound, and why he didn't tell me. Maybe he'd been scared to--no, that didn't sound like Darius at all. But how could I find him? Travel all the way to Darkmoon Academy, and hope he'd come outside? From what I understood, each of the Academies were surrounded by large walls, and only the permitted gain entrance inside. They didn't exactly allow you inside the guarding walls of the academies without the proper paperwork. But then, Darius would likely go on patrols, and it was possible that I could...

  ...that I could what? Tackle a Barron of his caliber and force him to explain just how the fak this happened and why he never told me in the first place? Was that really what I was thinking?

  I stared at the dying embers of my fire pit for a while, cursing myself for not having a better plan of action, and tossed a few sticks onto the coals. After a while, I threw a log on, and curled up on my side again, with only my arm for a pillow. The ground that had been somewhat soft and forgiving under my feet as I'd escaped the Barrons in Kessler a few hours ago was hard and unforgiving now. It never ceased to amaze me how different it felt to run across land, compared to sleeping on it. The air was so cool that I had to move dangerously close to the flames, just to feel any warmth at all.

  It reminded me of Trayton.

  I could always head northwest to Okumatte to find him, stopping in Butcher and maybe Hopkins on my way, to seek information on my parents. The truth was, right now, Trayton needed me more than anyone. I would just have to trust that my parents would be alright, and that answers about Darius would come at some point. Right now, I could only do one thing, so the choice seemed obvious. I'd find Trayton, and make certain he didn't get himself killed on the battlefield. But if I was going to do that, to travel weeks away to Okumatte, then Gage was
right. I'd need supplies. And that meant travelling to a nearby town--one that was anywhere but Kessler. So Drago, it was.

  I closed my eyes and listened to the Squaws chirping in the distance, and the gurgle of the Kessler River. I was soaking it all in, trying desperately to hold onto home. Because I wasn't certain how long it might be before I returned. Eventually, I entered something closely resembling a sleeping state. But I shivered myself awake a few hours later.

  "You really need a cloak, Kaya. It's getting onto the winter months, and even in the lowlands that means bundling up at night." Gage was crouched beside the cold ashes of my fire pit, tilting his head at me curiously. His eyes were bright, his stance strong. Clearly, somebody had slept just fine the night before. Just not me.

  Lying on the ground to his left was a gray wool traveling satchel, a blanket bundled and attached to the bottom of it with leather straps and dull oil colored buckles. By the bulk of the satchel, I'd say that Gage was clearly better-prepared for his trip than I was. If it weren't for the fact that my father had made certain I knew how to start a fire with nothing more than a flintrock and some brush, I might have frozen to death in the glen.

  When he spoke again, his voice was softer. "Kaya, I understand if you'd rather gather supplies on your own. I mean, you don't even know me. But I promise you this. If you allow me to travel to Drago with you, I'll bid you goodbye after we get there, if that's what you want. I just want to make certain you get there okay. And I heard some pretty disturbing noises in the woods last night that made me worry that you might not--that I might not."

  Stretching my stiff back, I reveled in it cracking a few times. As I stood, I brushed grass and dirt bits from my clothing. "What noises? It might have been a kingbeast. They're pretty common in this area at night, and sound way nastier than they actually are."

  "Actually..." His eyes moved past me to the tree line, flickering in a disturbed way, but only briefly. He shook his head. "It couldn't have been. Forget I said anything. It doesn't make any sense anyway. Shall we get going?"

  But I didn’t want to forget he’d said anything. "No, wait. What do you think you heard?"

  "It couldn't be. I mean, they only travel in the higher elevations. But...I swore I heard a…” He paused, bringing his eyes to mine and searching them for a moment, as if he were looking for something within them as he spoke his next word. “…Graplar."

  The word sent a tension through every inch of my body, and my eyes instinctively found my katana. It was lying on the ground near my feet, just waiting for my fingers to grip it.

  Gage nodded toward my weapon. "Keep it available today."

  Bending to retrieve my weapon, my fingers wrapped around the handle. Lightly at first, then squeezing it tight before relaxing once again, as if testing out its solidity, as if making certain that it was real and there when I needed it. I nodded at the saya on Gage’s back. "You too."

  "I was relieved I didn’t have to use it on you yesterday. One can never be too certain that one is in sane company." He shrugged, as if this were the most normal conversation in the world.

  My nerves were on edge as I swept the tree line with my vision, looking for any sign of Graplars. "You were worried I might be a crazy person?"

  "You might be surprised how many lunatics you run into on the road. And, not for nothing, but you do have that look about you."

  “That look ab--?” He was egging me on in a way that would have endeared him to Maddox, I just knew it. Rolling my eyes, I tugged his cloak gently in the direction of Drago. "Come on. I'm pretty sure I spotted a sweetberry bush on the edge of the clearing last night."

  "Hmm. She'll buy me breakfast, but won't tell me where she's going." His smirk had deepened somehow, and I got the feeling that he and Darius were cut from the same cloth—both annoying, aggravating boys, but for very different reasons.

  I rolled my eyes again and tugged his cloak, much harder this time. “Come ON!”

  By the time we reached the edges of Drago, our lips were stained blue from the generous handfuls of sweetberries we'd devoured along the way, and the air between us had warmed considerably. Gage, despite my reservations about travelling with a stranger, was actually a really nice person. He was fascinated by the fact that my parents were both Barrons, and as we approached Drago's main thoroughfare, he wondered aloud something that had never really occurred to me. "Does that make you less of a Healer or more? I mean, do you suppose having two Barrons for parents would dilute those natural abilities at all?"

  I shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, it's possible. But how would I ever know something like that?"

  "Fascinating."

  "What is?"

  "That you don't know something so critical to your own survival, to your Barron's survival. It must be frightening to think about."

  It was a strange word, I thought, to use when describing my situation, but then, maybe he was right. Maybe it was a little bit frightening to think about the possibility that my Healing gifts might be diluted somehow because of my parentage, and that I might not be as skilled at healing Trayton (or Darius, that little voice in the back of my head insisted on reminding me) in battle. It occurred to me that the only reason his word choice had struck me as strange was because I hadn’t been frightened of that possibility. Until now, that is. My steps slowed in contemplation, but only slightly. I hoped he didn’t notice, or would think that I was merely stopping to survey the village ahead. "Truth be told, Gage, I never thought about it before."

  Just ahead of us was a well-groomed dirt road, lined with sentinel buildings on either side. A crowd of people swept the street, disappearing into shops and reappearing again with packages in hand. Several carts dotted the road, tucked into the small available space between shops. Bright, happy faces dotted the thoroughfare, and festive music filled my ears.

  Gage slowed his steps as well, matching my pace. He hushed his voice, as if his concern was best kept a secret from the people just ahead of us. "Not until now?"

  "Not until you brought it up." I looked around, but not at anything in particular. I didn't want to look at anything, or anyone, as that crushing responsibility weighed down on me. Whether Trayton (or Darius) lived or died might one day be left up to me, and I couldn't even guarantee my supposed skill. Trayton had lived after Instructor Baak had stabbed him, yes. But had he lived because of me? Or because of the Master Healer? Was I any good to him at all? And what did my being Bound mean to the connection between Darius and I? Would it dilute my abilities somehow? The notion was more frightening and oppressive than anything I'd been faced with before.

  We moved forward into town, and as we became a small part of the crowd, Gage turned abruptly in front of me, stopping right in my path. He put a hand on my shoulder, his handsome face so close to mine, his eyes twinkling in apology. "I’m deeply sorry if it troubled you at all. My mind wanders sometimes. It happens a lot when you're on the road alone for an extended period of time. That’s no excuse for my words, but perhaps a small glimpse into my bumbling personal skills."

  He wasn’t a person who apologized easily or often—that much I could tell—but when he apologized, he truly meant it, and that meant something to me. Something big. After all, an apology, given flippantly and easily, carried virtually no weight, but I could tell that he'd been truly troubled by the pain his words might have caused me. He was the sort of person who only apologized when he was truly sorry, and that made me want to forgive him immediately. So I did.

  From this close, he smelled like the wild—rain and smoke and earth and wind. The medley of it, the pure Tril-ness of his scent was oddly intoxicating. It reminded me of Darius. "How long have you been travelling?"

  He shrugged casually, relaxing some at my words. I didn't need to say out loud that I'd accepted his apology. An unspoken understanding passed between us. "Not long this time, but it adds up. People don't generally easily interact with travelers. Maybe they don't trust people as a general rule. Or maybe they think I'm a lunatic."


  "Well, you do have that look about you." I smiled at him and he smiled back. For a moment, the world around us peeled away and we were alone, two people connecting in a freshly bloomed friendship. It made me miss Maddox a little bit less.

  His smirk deepened briefly as he turned away to head into town. "I'll be stalking the foodcarts if you want to say goodbye before heading out."

  "Wait. Gage?" It was probably a rash decision to share my plans with a virtual stranger, but it felt right. Especially since he'd already proven to be valuable company on my trek. I felt like I owed it to him to at least be honest with him. "I'm going to Okumatte."

  He paused in his movement, at first not turning back to me at all. When he finally did face me, his eyes flashed brilliantly, and a small smile settled on his lips. Not a smirk, but an actual smile. As if I'd just made him immeasurably happy. It relieved me to see it. "At last, she gives."

  I didn't know what to say to that, but luckily, he didn't wait for long before he spoke again. "Would you like a butterspud or a bowl of tendergreens?"

  "None for me, thanks." With his smile still intact, he continued down the slight hill into the area with the foodcarts. I watched him for a moment, wondering who exactly he was and what exactly I was doing with him, before I moved past the foodcarts to the carts featuring things like fishing bait and camping gear. It was only when I reached a cart full of heavy wool blankets that I realized that I had a serious problem. My satchel was currently sitting by the fireplace at my parents' cabin. Which meant that I had no trinks at all to spend on food or supplies.

  How was I supposed to travel anywhere, let alone take care of myself until I figured out what to do? The woods were full of food if you knew how to fish and hunt, which I absolutely did, but what about tools and camping equipment? At the very least, I needed a blanket, because I'd catch something terrible if I spent many more nights on the hard ground in the growing cold.